What If Love Was the Most Important Skill We Learned at School?
Why should love—of ourselves, others, and all living beings—be the centerpiece of our learning communities? Because love is transformative. Paulo Freire, in Pedagogy of the Heart, posits that education should be an act of love, a radical commitment to human dignity and justice. He envisioned learning communities as spaces of connection, dialogue, and care, where learners and learning guides co-create knowledge and confront societal inequities together.
If love became the most important skill we learned, our world would shift profoundly. Imagine learners not only equipped to solve equations but to solve conflicts, to heal divisions, and to restore balance to our world. War, hunger, homelessness, environmental degradation, and so many other human and ecological crises would begin to heal.
But love isn’t something that can simply be taught. It must be nurtured through environments that are developmentally appropriate and intentionally designed for connection. Love grows naturally when learners are immersed in spaces that honor their humanity, provide psychological safety, and encourage authentic relationships.
For many of us, rediscovering love begins with unlearning. Over time, layers of emotional defenses grow around the core of our being—the part of us that holds our zest for life and capacity for connection. These layers form in response to pain and trauma: first, the pain itself, shaped by early wounds; then, defensive emotions like anger and defiance, often met with penalties such as the withdrawal of love. Finally, a layer of adaptation emerges, marked by boredom, depression, and weariness.
To peel back these layers and return to love requires vulnerability—but vulnerability isn’t easy. It requires us to show up as we truly are, flaws and all. For many, this means facing the parts of themselves society shames or deems unlikable. To learn love, we must first learn to love all parts of ourselves. In becoming whole, we open ourselves to the fullness of others and the world around us.
From a young age, we are taught to guard ourselves—hide our emotions, prove our worth through achievement, and compete rather than collaborate. Past pain compels us to build walls instead of bridges. Even our systems, including schools, prioritize efficiency, control, and measurable outcomes, often at the expense of the relational depth needed to heal and thrive.
Learning communities rooted in love would create environments of psychological safety, where every learner feels seen, valued, and free to express themselves without fear of judgment. Collaboration replaces competition. Reflection takes precedence over rigid evaluation. Learning guides would model authenticity and vulnerability, showing that strength lies not in perfection but in connection.
Education rooted in love is not just about individual growth—it’s about transforming systems. When learners are taught to embrace resilience and to hold space for both joy and pain, they leave not just ready to survive but prepared to co-create a world where love flourishes. A world where the relational fabric of life is repaired, and every being is seen as worthy of care and compassion.
I’d love to hear how you are cultivating love and connection in your learning community.